I have read many times about how there is so much pressure on Karate students when they finally reach brown belt.
Could it be true…
After moving past all of the other color belts, the hard working brown belt is only one belt color away from Karate nirvana. I have even heard that the brown belt student is considered the black belt apprentice by some. At this point, the Karate student has learned all of the basics and can execute them with some proficiency.
I never understood many of the comments about this being the time when many students leave Karate even though they are so close to black belt. A few Karate exams ago, I finally started to understand why so many people find this time the hardest. When I passed my first part of my brown belt test to 3rd kyu, I thought that I really had a handle on my Karate skills and that I was on the fast track to black belt.
On my test for 2nd kyu, I received a keri, which is the equivalent of a half rank. I accepted the result and vowed to train even harder for my next exam. I took five classes a week, trained at home and helped instruct for eight to 10 hours each week, thinking that it would improve my skills and prepare me for my next exam.
After six months of what felt like constant Karate training, I was ready for my exam and felt so good in my mind, that I was ready to take my black belt and not just move up a single rank. I really thought that this was my time and I was there to show my examiners that I was ready to be a black belt and this exam was just a formality.
I started my exam breathing fire and spitting bullets. I put everything I had out on the floor that day and when the test was over I felt that I did really well. I wasn’t sure if I would get a black belt but I felt that I would be a full 1st kyu at least. A few close, experienced Karate friends of mine, who watched the exam, felt that I did well too. I was sure that 20 to 30 minutes of exam time would show all of the hard work that I put in over the past six months.
Here came reality…
We do not receive our exam results until our next class and I was ready to hear the good news. My Sensei announced our test results and when he got to my name, he said, good job, you cleared your keri and you are know a full 2nd kyu. I took the news like a good sport with a smile but my insides felt like jelly and about six million unhappy thoughts went through my mind. I could not stop thinking about all the time that I spent preparing for this exam and for all that hard work and effort, I only received a half of a rank again.
I went through my exam and my results in my head about a thousand times and really started to question if all the time, effort and money that I spent on Karate was really worth it. I have always been the type of person that never quits but for the first time in over four years of Karate training, I was asking myself why I keep doing this. I was looking for any and every reason to blame someone or something for my poor test result.
I spent close to two months dwelling on my results even though I was still training in class and working harder than ever I couldn’t come to grips with my test result. I spent a lot of time thinking about what I did wrong and then on day, I realized that maybe I didn’t do anything wrong, I maybe just didn’t do right.
Maybe this was my test…
After all of the mental time I spent reviewing my results and beating myself up, I realized that maybe this was my test. The Karate exam itself was not my test but dealing with the results was my test. After looking at some of the accomplishments I have had such as helping instruct classes and judging at tournaments, I realized that I have gone a long way, in short time, even though my test results didn’t reflect it.
When I went to my next exam, I had a totally different attitude and just did it. I felt that I did better than ever before, I didn’t pressure myself and I went through the test with an almost relaxed attitude. I ended up getting another keri and am now a 1st kyu keri but that doesn’t bother me. I was training because I want to train not because I have to train and it really changed my outlook on Karate.
I could have just hung up my brown belt and quit but instead I realized that I have come a long way and quitting because of less than 30 minutes of exam time would be a huge mistake. If I had quit over something like an exam result, it would have proved that I never deserved to move up.
Now I train for me…
After coming to grips with what seemed like my biggest Karate challenges thus far, I can now train for me and not for some exam result or a belt color. I am still taking three to four classes a week depending upon the session and my finances , training outside of class, instructing, judging at tournaments and learning everything I can about Karate. If anything, I enjoy my training more now that ever. Instead of focusing on moving up the ranks and belt levels, I can now enjoy what I am learning and just train. When the time comes for me to get my black belt, I know that I will deserve it.
I will get there when I get there…
If it takes one year, five years or 20 years for me to get my black belt, I am planning on enjoying every step of the journey instead of just worrying about when I get there.
I am sure that many others have gone through similar situations like mine and those that have kept at it are or will be black belts and those who didn’t probably regret quitting something that they already invested so much time and effort in. I don’t want to be the latter.
This post has helped me immensely today… you described exactly what I am feeling and thinking today! Even those this was some time ago for you it really helped me today. Thanks!
I know this post is older, but I thought I’d comment on it anyway, for anyone else who stumbles across it.
When my instructor gave me my brown belt, he told me “congratulations. You’re now half way to black belt”. At first I thought he was exaggerating or being dramatic (it wouldn’t be out of character for him), but now, a month into my 3rd year as a brown belt with probably 8-9 months (or more) until I’m ready for the big test, I know he was being completely serious.
And I’m a fast learner. I’ve got a great memory, I’m very coordinated, I practice outside of class and attend every class including the children’s class where I teach basics to the newest beginners…
Brown belt is just hard. It’s a hard, long road with a lot thrown in there specifically to test us. In our system we study several forms from other martial arts at brown belt for the specific purpose of throwing us out of element and forcing us to move and think differently. We’re always uke for demonstrations and get thrown around, twisted up, bent and jabbed. It’s meant to be an ordeal.
I wonder, though, if the end result you came upon– “now I train for me”– is exactly the point it’s meant to bring us to.
Up until that time, most people are very focused on the belts. They want their next belt, their next rank, the next shiny new color. But once you hit black belt, that’s it. Your motivation HAS to change, and that’s why a lot of new black belts become disillusioned. Perhaps a long and arduous brown belt course is meant to prepare us for that– to take our sights off of getting to the next rank, forcing us to realize that there’s much, much more to it than that, and pointing us to a focus that’s more enduring, which is exactly what we’ll need when we hit black belt and suddenly there are no more pretty new colors to motivate us. We HAVE to train for us.
A thought, anyway.